when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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