you guys were way drunker than both of me
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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