it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
this is an emotional support booty call
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
