do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
