Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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