hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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