that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
