I wanna bring you to show and tell
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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