At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
