Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize