She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
