dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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