I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
