well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
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This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
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The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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