Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize