I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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