she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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