If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
