So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
