wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
