I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize