it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
