just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
