just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
