youre lurking in front of me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
