i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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