Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
