the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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