The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
