Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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