is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
