hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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