My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
