all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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