i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
