What did we do last night that was yellow?
one might say we're banned from that church
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize