why didn't you poke me back
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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