Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
