Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
