I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
