i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
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Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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