butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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