I hope mine doesn't look like that
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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