Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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