I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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