i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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