God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize