You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
