Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
