he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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