hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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