Betty ford says i'm here all night
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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