holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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