Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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