You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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